The Seven Longings of the Human Heart

The Seven Longings of the Human Heart

Book Study on the book by Mike Bickle

March 2011

Summary:

1. The Longing to be Enjoyed by God.

We were created to be enjoyed in a personal way by our Creator.  When we believe this truth we are set free from accusation, rejection, and shame.  He doesn’t just love us, He likes us!  This revelation keeps us  running to Him and not from Him when we mess up.

2. The Longing for Fascination.

God invented the idea of pleasure.  He created us with the desire to be amazed in order to drive us to the Amazing One. Spiritual pleasure resonates at a deeper level than any other pleasure.  He wants us to experience “divine entertainment” and overcome spiritual boredom by plumbing the depths of God.

3. The Longing for Beauty.

We reflect God’s beauty, and we are moved by beauty.  We long to possess beauty, to be striking and engaging.  “We are meant to feel beautiful before God and there is something powerful about those who genuinely do.”  The Holy Spirit wants to show us what God looks like and then show us what we look like to God.   He is the Bridegroom and we are the Bride.  His beauty is transferable to humans though Jesus.

4. The Longing for Greatness.

There is something within the heart of man that yearns to be crowned with greatness.  God satisfies our longing to be great by granting us, His Bride, a position of authority surpassing even the highest ranking angels.  We will rule and reign with Him.  Our nobility is in the Kingdom of Heaven, not of this world.

5. The Longing for Intimacy Without Shame.  

God created us with a profound desire to fully know and to be known without shame.  Loneliness severely breaks and bruises us, and it is not God’s plan for us.  The Father has permitted Jesus to pour His glory out on us now in part, and in fullness in the age to come.  There is a difference between solitude and loneliness.  Worldly counterfeit intimacy is what brings shame.

6. The Longing to be Wholehearted.

You shall love the Lord your God with all of your heart is not just a command, it is a prophetic statement.  The time is coming when followers of God will follow Him with wholehearted love, not mindless ritual.  The supernatural work of the Holy Spirit empowers us to walk out full obedience.  We were created for Holy Romance; people who are in love give up a lot less frequently than those who are not in love.  It reduces burnout and reduces temptation.

7. The Longing to make a deep and lasting Impact.

We long to share things with others that change them or bring them joy and goodness.  This is not innately self-serving or a sign of weakness or vanity; it’s an expression of being created in the likeness of God.  We are very important, but only have lasting significance as we walk in obedience to God’s will for our lives.

My Perspective:

The Longing for beauty and for intimacy without shame resonate with me the most.  I have spent a lot of time and effort trying to mask my loneliness and insecurities; trying not to be that cliché single woman in her thirties, desperate for a husband.  It has not been easy living alone and being in a community of friends who are all married.  Somewhere along the line I started to believe I not worthy of love and marriage, and that being single was somehow more holy or virtuous.  I’m not sure how one can hold both opinions at the same time, but I did.  My married friends were envious of me and the freedom I had and I was envious of them with their built in best friend and house full of people.  I wouldn’t even let myself pray for a husband because I was 1) afraid that He would say no, and 2) I was afraid it was a selfish request.  If He knows the true desire of my heart, why should I have to ask Him? I’ve come to the conclusion that I am pretty messed up in this department.  I had done the Song of Songs study and had come to the deepest revelation of God’s love and affection for me than I had ever known, but still felt like longing to be pursued and for a husband and family was wrong.   Hope deferred had truly made my heart sick. (Proverbs 13:12)

The first thing that I was faced with when I arrived and started the internship was loneliness.  I was confronted with the spirit of rejection 3 times in the first week as people prayed and spoke prophetically over me.  I was actually angry and questioning God as I was facing the reality and asked the Lord, “Really? Is this what I came all the way out here for?”  I felt like there were much more important things to focus on.  But finally the 3^rd person helped me pray through and come out of agreement with this spirit of rejection.  At that point I realized that I had developed a huge “back off” sign on my forehead.  I was rejecting people; warning them away from me by my demeanor before they would have a chance to reject me.  I found it really hard to trust new people and certain types of guys and even women.  I was holding on to the hurt and rejection from past encounters and I needed to let go of them and be healed. 

The 2^nd step was confronting my thoughts on desiring a husband and family.  God encountered me through a very wise and Godly couple and showed me that I needed to be praying specifically for my future partner.  Through this encounter I realized that I had believed something about myself and about God that was not true.  He had never called me to be single, but I had projected that fear on Him due to my insecurities about being beautiful and lovable, and due to misguided words of others about being called to singleness.  He began to restore my hope in marriage and I have begun to pray for the one He will send to me. 

The 3^rd step was restoring a right perspective about the goodness of marriage and partnership and raising a family, which He started through a couple of Craig Cook’s sessions.  Further encounter and confirmation came through the “True Feminine” session of Pure Heart.  I have gone through quite a lot emotionally the past couple of weeks trying to get rid of the garbage and believe the truth about how God views me.  I need healing and to come out of agreement with what the world calls beautiful and see myself and others as He sees us.

God has called me to be a Forerunner.  Hi is placing a message inside of me that is busting at the seams to get out of me. I cannot afford a “back off” sign on my spiritual forehead or a fear of rejection that will keep me from speaking truth.  I cannot afford to judge others; appearances the way I have judged my own.  I need God’s perspective  on myself, to truly love myself and see myself as He sees me so that it’s possible to see and love others the same way  So the answer to my own question is “Yes, really.  This is what you came here for.”

I am learning that the longings in my heart are not sinful or selfish; they are part of God’s design to draw us to Him.  While we will never be fully satisfied until we see Him face to face, we can be satisfied in part here on earth if we seek His face and allow the Holy Spirit to transform our desires into the holy desires of God’s will for us.  He created the concept of unity in marriage and raising families.  It is a prophetic picture of our salvation relationship with Jesus.  He has awakened a desire in me for adoption through this whole experience as well.  Especially for crisis pregnancy situations; providing a home for babies saved from planned abortions.  Coming into agreement with how He loves me frees up my heart to receive love from others and to move more freely in the calling He has placed on my life.  It makes me more approachable and makes me more willing to approach others.  A heart free of the clutches of fear of rejection is a heart that can be used for the glory of God and the Harvest of souls.

Fast Forward: February 2013

Since moving to Michigan and pursuing the dreams of God’s heart for my life, I have seen a huge difference in my everyday life.  The healing that I received during my time at IHOP-KC from the Lord has been a gift and has led to an ongoing transformation of my soul.  There is a new found confidence that allows me to look people in the eye, to have the courage to give a ready answer for the hope that lies within me, and to testify to the goodness of His healing Hand.  The Lord has been opening doors for me to be light and to bloom where He has planted me. Situations that I would have shied away from, conversations that I would never have imagined, answers and wisdom that I could never have come to on my own, have become the norm in my life.  I have been able to embrace the fact that I am introverted but not be shy, and not to use it as a reason to isolate myself from the unknown.  I have come to trust the Spirit that lives within me to give me the words to say (and NOT to say) in any and all given situations.  He is faithful and true.  He is Healer.  And He uses weak and broke people to declare these truths.

exceedingly abundantly above and beyond...

The Martin's had an album years ago call "Dream Big".  It's a fun song.  If you're gonna dream, dream big!  God is so much bigger than that for which we give Him credit.  The verse says that He will do exceedingly abundantly above all we can ask or think.  I think about the goals and dreams I have had in my life and while some of them have been "silly", He is showing me more and more that He knows my heart.  He knows my dreams and he knows my longings and the more I fall in love with Him and His word, the more I see my dreams and longings fulfilled.  It is true that I was created to love Him and be loved by Him.  I was uniquely designed to worship Him in a way that no one else can.  As I pursue Him, the longings He placed inside of me are met in Him. At the same time, the things that He has created me to do...the specific gifts and talents that He has given me, are being drawn out in ways that I never imagined.

For example...While stuck in my 9-5 customer service job a couple of years ago, I was asked the question "If you could do anything, what would it be?"  My answer was to teach at the college level and to write. I have always wanted to write.  I have always wanted to teach.  I realized in college that elementary ed was not it, so I switched majors to Christian Ed.  I enjoyed junior high and high school more so I was a Youth Pastor for awhile.  When I spent time raising funds to go to the mission field I realized that my favorite part was educating people about the serious need for missionaries in the 10-40 window.  I was passionate about it and discovered a voice for speaking before a crowd that I didn't realize that I had.  I was beginning to understand that God given passion was the key.  When He places something on my heart I cannot keep silent.  He has placed His finger on my heart on many subjects; missions, keeping the first commandment in first place, the Song of Songs from the perspective of Jesus as  the Bridegroom, the House of Prayer movement,  inner healing, and Eschatology.

So traditionally speaking I was thinking college professor, maybe comparative religion.  I wanted to write something inspirational, but had no idea where to start.  When I left Kansas City and the IHOP-KC internship to move to Michigan, I wasn't sure what I was going to do.  All I knew for sure was that it would be through the context of the House of Prayer movement.  I was already partnering with Oasis House of Prayer in Canton once a month, but I wasn't sure if that would be permanent or if God had other plans.  I was bursting at the seams with everything He had downloaded into me during the internship.  I was looking for an outlet.

I found myself back in a 9-5 customer service job within 30 days.  It wasn't what I had in mind when I finally moved to Michigan, but it was a financial gift from God.  Within 6 months, the Director of Oasis and the leadership team had announced a God-given vision for ministry that would be expanding the current Oasis House of Prayer to include a church plant and a school of ministry.  Soon after the birth of Desert Voice Ministries, I was asked to consider joining the servant leadership team and to help build the school of ministry.  I found myself on the Education Team helping to write and develop curriculum, and preparing to help facilitate and teach the very topics that the Lord had been imprinting on my heart.  I can't believe I am part of something so amazing!  At this is just the tip of the iceberg.  Tonight I led my first worship set with my own team in the House of Prayer.  I have been prayer leading and working on building the Hospitality aspect of the the ministry...my expectations, my attempts at making my own dreams come true, have all been blown out of the water.  God's dreams for my life; His fulfillment of every righteous longing, are exceedingly abundantly above and beyond all I could ever imagine.  As I pursue His heart, He pursues mine.  And my heart is full.  Full of joy, full of contentment, full of peace...full of confidence in who I am and Who I belong to.  So many times the works of the Lord in our lives look nothing like we expected them to look.  I say praise the Lord for that!

re-entry

"I'm just happy to hear that I am not crazy!"

I had the privilege to lead our very last small group meeting of the internship. It was providential because the day before, God had given me a message to share and the timing was perfect. After I had written my last post, a friend had sent me an email and totally identified what I was really feeling: Panic. Through the leading of the Holy Spirit, she reminded me that this 6 month experience was like a cross cultural trip, and should be treated as such as far as re-entry into my home and relationships. I have been forever changed by the experience that the Lord has brought me through at IHOP-KC. And at the same time, all of my family and friends have also moved on with their lives, going through their owns changes and journeys. These two things colliding can sometimes cause a bit of a reverse culture shock. Not only am I concerned about integrating the knowledge and changes into my life back home, but I was concerned about translating back into the lives of those whom I love.

My friend sent me several articles, reminding of my previous cross cultural training. It was exactly what I needed to hear, and the revelation burned on my heart. I needed to share this with my fellow interns. We hadn't covered the concept in our closing sessions. It was true that a lot of interns were staying in KC to join staff, but many were not. And even though many were joining staff, at some point they would be going home to raise a team of supporters. The very next morning, I was given the opportunity to take charge of the last small group meeting.

I put together a short exhortation of the main points of the articles. I wanted to bring awareness and offer tips on how to navigate through the emotions that would rise. When I finished and prayed for my team, one of the girls exclaimed "I am just happy to know I am not crazy!" She had left mid-internship to spend a weekend with her family at her brother's graduation. She did not understand the unsettled feelings she was experiencing and the trouble she was having relating to people. Because I shared the truth that had been revealed to me, someone else was also touched and given language for the emotions she was experiencing. Not everyone will have the same type of struggle, but being aware of the possibility is half the battle! Given this information we can pray more specifically and have the tools to combat the attack of the enemy. Spiritual warfare will definitely be in our future. We will have to resist the enemy who will try to steal the seeds that have been planted. If we understand that the emotions we will face are normal, it will be easier to stand strong and rely on the Lord to walk us through it. We do not want to compromise what we have learned for the sake of getting along with everyone. We want to integrate the truth into our lives and trust that the Lord will help us to maintain relationship in the process. After the positive response I got from the team that night, I put together an email with links to the articles and sent them to as many of my fellow interns as possible. My core leaders also said that they would be using the information in pastoring future interns in their closing connection meetings. Thank you God!

Not only did God send the right message at the right time, but in His abundant grace He went a step further. A group of friends have formed a "re-entry team" on my behalf. They have scanned the concepts of re-entry and committed to praying for me during the transition (which could take 6-12 months), as well as being there for me when I need to talk or cry or vent or tell stories that only I think are funny. By having a team of people around me who are aware of the season I am in, the transition will be even smoother. Even in my new found awareness, I can't possibly know the range of emotions or obstacles I might face. But the Lord of Hosts know all things and He is making a way for me. He is the Good Shepherd and I lack nothing. He is not only interested in bringing wisdom and revelation into my life, He is interested in protecting the seeds that He has planted so that they can be nurtured and brought to fruition.

diligence

"If we consider the unblushing promises of reward and the staggering nature of the rewards promised in the Gospels, it would seem that our Lord finds our desires, not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us; like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased." - CS Lewis

The entries in my journal for the past three weeks have had a common theme: a deep desire to remain diligent. Living here at IHOP the past 6 months has been like a true oasis and a breath of fresh air. It has been water for my thirsty soul. The discipline of the program and the Holy Spirit have given me the boundaries necessary to stay on track. I now find that I am afraid of being left to my own devices, so to speak, and the barrage of distractions that await me. I feel exhausted really for the first time since I got here and have felt myself wanting to pull away from many things. I have had a tough time certain days staying engaged in the program and sticking to my commitment to the fasted lifestyle. I don't want to go back to the way that I was; settling for lesser things, wasting my time on frivolous pursuits. Even in this place I don't feel like I have my personal life structured or disciplined enough.

The truth is that I have come a long way. Sanctification is a life long process. My own twisted sense of perfectionism wants the work to be complete. I no longer want to struggle with all of the issues that have been brought to the surface and revealed to me through His kindness and gentle mercy. But what has really happened in the past 6 months is that while I have been set free of so many things, ultimately the point is awareness. The Father has made me aware of the snares of the enemy and given me the grace to stand against him in my authority as a believer. Temptations never cease, they just get more subtle. The Father has given me confidence in my identity in Him and in the calling He has placed on my heart. It is with these tools that I will be able to continue to stand and walk in obedience. It is by continuing to behold Him as in a mirror with unveiled face that I will become more and more like Him. He will complete the work He has begun in me. So in my voluntary weakness, though I get frustrated and doubtful, and see the lack that still exists in my soul, I will say "Jesus, I trust your leadership." I will rest in His promise that His strength will be made perfect in my weakness. And I will pray:

"God help me. I want to be intentional about how I spend my time. I want to stay in the Word. I want to give myself to prayer. I want to stay connected intimately to Your heart. I do not want to be dull with the things of this world. I want to be fascinated by You. I have tasted and I have seen and I cannot go back to the way things were. I want to be a bright and shining lamp, one who is on fire for You. I want to glorify Your Name and make Your Name known every where I go. I want to serve You, and serve Your children whom You love. I want to do things that matter and that last unto the Day of Your appearing. I want to walk in the fullness of Your plan for my life. I want to operate in the fullness of my identity in You. Strengthen my weak heart. Anoint my weak words. Bless my weak attempts. I cannot accomplish one of these things without You. I choose to walk in weakness before you so that Your strength can be made perfect in me and that You will be glorified. Lead me. All power and authority has been given unto You, Jesus. Amen."

Although this is the final week of Intro to IHOP and the program is almost complete, I am still a work in progress. This is only the beginning of the next chapter in my journey. It is my hope that with each turn of the page of my story the Lord will be glorified more and more.

"I want to be well pleasing to You on the Day that I stand before You. I want to be well pleasing to You, so I make it my aim in all I do."

where is the time going?

It's the middle of May. That means I have like 5 weeks left in Track 2. Where has the time gone?

Track 2 has been a whirlwind. The schedule has been even more intense than Track 1, but it feels completely different. Somehow I feel busier and more relaxed at the same time. It was rough to deal with the changes in our core teams and leadership, but we continue to be a family.

The past 10 days we have been honored to have a Bible Teacher from England with us. His name is David Pawson and has written more than 30 books, including a commentary called "Unlocking the Bible". I highly recommend checking him out in the archives. He is quite possibly one of the best and most clear Bible teachers I have ever heard. He did 26 messages while he was here, including 14 talks on the Uniqueness of Jesus Christ and the Glory of HisStory, as well as several messages of the End Times. Leadership completely rearranged our schedule so we would have the opportunity to attend as many of the seminars as possible and it was amazing. It helps that he is an adorable old British gentlemen that is so fun to listen to!

We have been serving in the Prophecy and Healing Rooms on Tuesdays and Thursdays. It has been an incredible blessing. I was scared to death initially and have realized in the past several weeks that God as done a mighty work in my heart and mind. I am so honored to be able to pour the encouragement, edification, and exhortation of God's heart into people's lives (I Cor. 14:3). I have been so touched as I have seen the light come on in their eyes as they realize that the Creator of the Universe has something precious to say about them. I am also serving on Tuesday nights as an assistant leader in the Pure Heart (inner healing) ministry on Tuesday nights with the current Track 1 group. The program had so much impact on me and I love now being able to see others find freedom. I have graduated from a yellow vest to a blue vest in the weekend services, which means we take turns now as the ministry team instead of ushering. We are also taking turns serving at Hope City, the inner city prayer room, as ministry teams and serving food. It is all such a privilege.

During all this time I have been going before the Lord and asking Him to clarify my next steps as I am preparing to move to Michigan. He has been so gracious to hear my questions and my desires. I had one of the best birthdays I have ever had, starting the morning with a birthday gift of revelation from God on some of the questions on my heart. He continues to speak to me through teaching, "random" conversations, homework assignments, and prayers. I am looking forward to what the Lord has in store for me and will live each day in expectancy.

a day in the life of an intern...

When I signed up for this internship I only had a skeleton of an outline, a whisper of what we were actually going to be doing here. I just knew that God was drawing; me to this place that He was giving me the desire to shed as much of "the world" as possible. I was hungering for simplicity and a deep encounter. I didn't feel like I could truly hear the Lord through the fog of my job, my activities, my busyness... I felt the need to shed it all and didn't have the discipline to do it. When people would ask me what I would be doing, it as hard to describe anything since I didn't truly know. I knew that there would be time in the prayer room and time in class. I used words like "sabbatical" and "fasted lifestyle" but I didn't really have language for what I was stepping into. I felt very strongly that it would be a place of preparation for the next step, which is missions.

So here was my schedule in Track 1:

Sunday

10:30-1:30 - Work with 4-5 year-olds in the Children's Equipping Center

2:00-6:00 - Prayer Room

Monday

Sabbath - off except for staff meetings the 4th Monday of each month

Tuesday

8:45-9:30 - Worship/ministry time as a group

9:45-11:45 - Core Teaching (Subjects like "Tools for the Prayer Room", The Gifts of the Holy Spirit, Forgiveness, Adoption, Sermon of the Mount Lifestyle, Fasting, etc.)

1:00-5:00 - Prayer Room

6:30-9:30 - Pure Heart (Inner healing and restoration through the Holy Spirit)

Wednesday

8:45-9:30 - Worship

9:45-11:45 - Core Teaching

1:00-5:00 - Prayer Room (Team 4 ushers 3-5)

6:00-8:30 - Life Group (small group meetings)

Thursday

8:45-9:30 - Worship

9:45-11:45 - Core Teaching

1:00-4:00 - Prayer Room

4:00-5:30 - Team 4 Briefing

9:00-10:00 - Prayer for Detroit at the Prayer Room (optional)

Friday

8:45-9:30 - Worship

9:45-11:45 - Revelation teaching

1:00-4:00 - Justice Prayer Room (training on Apostolic Prayers and prayer leading on the mic)

6:00-10:00 - Encountering God Service (Worship, Ministry, Preaching)

Saturday

Noon-5:00 - Prayer Room

6:00-10:00 - Forerunner Christian Fellowship Church Service(Team 4 ushering every 3rd week)

Some will look at this schedule and laugh out loud at the sheer lunacy. Some will look at it and love the idea of that much time in the before the Lord. I admit, looking at the schedule in the beginning I did not know how I was going to do it all. All I knew is that I needed to jump in with both feet and fully give myself over to everything He had for me. I am so glad that I did. I wake up in the morning with worship songs on my lips and in my heart. Instead of 4 hours of TV a day I might see 4 hours in a week. I have given up secular music and secular radio. I seriously the other day forgot the name of an artist I used to love when I heard his song at the bowling alley. It took me 24 hours to remember his name. I have found so much freedom and have made so much more room for Jesus in my life. And it is God who wooed me and then gave me the grace to do it. The fog has lifted and I can hear His voice, see His Spirit move so much more clearly than before. He has also opened my eyes to the schemes of the Enemy. It has never been a matter of what is permissible for me, but what is beneficial. What am I willing to let go of to be able to walk in deeper communion with my Beloved? What voices need to be silenced in my life so I can be free to think on the things that move His heart? When I turned away from the things that I used to entertain and amuse myself I realized that the pleasures of God are far superior to what I was settling for on a daily basis. I also realized that I was being influenced negatively in my thoughts and beliefs because the voices of the world that I was listening to were severely contrary to the Truth. And there lies the entire point. It is the will of the enemy to cloud our minds with so much garbage that we live in a state of fog and delusion, unable to walk in the power of the Holy Spirit that is intended for those who bear His Image. We keep justifying and reasoning in our search for freedom from legalism and religious bondage and work ourselves right into another prison. The other ditch, as Pastor Steve would call it. I am learning that there is so much that I have been missing, and so much that He wants to say to me. In this state of voluntary weakness and fasting the things that are permissible but not beneficial, I am being qualified and brought into my true identity and purpose in Christ. I honestly do not recognize myself in the mirror any longer. And it's to God I give the glory, for setting me on the path, giving me the grace to do it, and then rewarding me with His presence.

And now, in Track 2, I will be able to see how He is going to move me in these things that I have been learning. I have been hidden in the cleft of the rock while He passes His glory by me. It is a privilege that I do not take lightly.

revelation

We open every morning with worship and prayer before our core teaching session begins. First of all, this is not your typical singing worship songs and prayer. This is prophetic worship and ministry time. People get words of prophecy, healing and deliverance every time we go before the Lord in worship. This is the best part of the day.

Yesterday morning we were singing and praying and one of the directors had a word from the Lord about a woman in the internship who had a specific calling, she had dedicated her life to ministry at about the age of 13-14 at church camp...um yeah, that was me. I raised my hand and people sitting around me came to pray for me, and the director prayed over me. Two women praying over me heard from the Lord that there was a spirit of rejection on me. I agreed and we prayed through that and I was delivered from that bondage. It was the most amazing feeling of relief. The director had been praying over me as well, encouraging me that I had not missed it, that I had been faithful and God was still preparing me to fulfill that destiny.

After the core teaching time, we were asked to fill out some paperwork for a program calling Pure Heart. It is an inner healing and purity covenant course we will be starting in February. On the form there was a checklist of things we were to mark if we were (or ever had been) struggling with them. One of the issues was suicidal thoughts. I had struggled for a short time with suicidal thoughts when I was freshman in high school. It hit me that it was August before my freshman year that I was at campmeeting and consecrated my future to God and felt the call to missions, and it was that first semester in high school that I was struggling with depression and dealing with suicidal thoughts until about Christmas time. The enemy had an assignment against my life! I had never made this connection before that I can remember. God had specific plans for my life and the enemy was trying to destroy them.

This means several things to me. It first of all means that God delivered me out of this trap. Through a faithful friend who reached out for help for me by contacting my youth pastor, and through the ministry of the Holy Spirit directly to my heart, the Lord looked out for me and did not allow me to be overcome.

Next it means that I was not only worth fighting against, I was worth fighting for. The enemy felt that I was significant enough to bother trying to trap. But more importantly, this thing that God has called me to is important enough for Him to bring to completion. I have been hearing a lot from Him while I have been here about my worth, my place in the Kingdom, the importance of fulfilling my destiny in Christ...and going back to this place of discovery when I was only 14 years old has allowed me to see that I haven't missed it. He knitted me together in my mother's womb and has been molding me and shaping me to be a Forerunner ever since. This is the place where it all starts to come together, where I find the boldness and freedom and intimacy that I need to walk out my destiny in Jesus Christ. I am in awe because I am not worthy in my own rite, but only because of the blood of the Lamb. I am honored to have a part to play in His Kingdom. And I am grateful to have another insight into how He has been working all things together for my good.