Journey-Don't Stop Believing (ZOO BAND)

Ok, Journey has hired a new lead singer. Who knew a guy from the Philipines could channel Steve Perry?

mere christianity

Let's just start by saying CS Lewis was a genius. That being said, I have been reading his Mere Christianity. It should have been a requirement in college for any of my basic christian beliefs classes. Except it wasn't. Don't even get me started on that.

Here is one thing I have been chewing on this past week or so:

"I am trying here to prevent anyone saying the really foolish thing that people often say about Him: 'I'm ready to accept Jesus as a great moral teacher, but I don't accept His claim to be God." That is the one thing we must not say. A man who was merely a man and said the sort of things Jesus said would not be a great moral teacher. He would either be a lunatic--on a level with the man who says he is a poached egg--or else he would be the Devil of Hell. You must make your choice. Either this man was, and is, the Son of God; or else a madman or something worse. You can shut Him up for a fool, you can spit at Him and kill Him as a demon; or you can fall at His feet and call Him Lord and God. But let us not come with any patronising nonsense about His being a great human teacher. He has not left that open to us. He did not intend to."

That's deep. Thoughts?

home

PC?

Last Sunday Pastor Steve started a sermon series on the Tough Questions of Life and Faith. He made a comment that cracked me up, but no one else seemed to catch it. He was talking about Faith and being "politically correct" in America and he said "Today it isn't kosher to ask somebody about their religion".

Can anybody tell me what's wrong with that statement?? :)

war

Jason Statham and Jet Li in a movie together?

Yes please.

you're going somewhere

This past Friday night we had Desperate at Scott and Cheryl's house. Desperate is a time to get together as His Church and really seek God through worship, prayer, prophesy, and LISTENING. While I enjoyed the time, and was able to pray and seek God, I also struggled with focus. I had so much going through my head, so many concerns, that when it came time to pray for one another I didn't even know what to ask for. So I didn't ask for anything.

Sunday morning Susie, our associate pastor's wife, walked up to our friend Derek and started talking to him close by to where I was sitting. I heard him say "yeah, I think that's Shawna". She came over and said that she had been praying for our time together that Friday night and the Lord had given her a message for someone. Derek had felt I needed prayer that night but hadn't said anything. Once Susie talked to him, he realized he was right.

The first words Susie said were "You're going somewhere under God's Authority". She said that God had told her that it was not under the heavy hand of duty or obligation, but under His hand of love. I would not be forced to go, but that I would be passionate about going. Derek confirmed he was hearing the word passion and felt God's saying it was going to be restored. I knew right then that God was speaking to me because for the past few months I have started thinking about pursuing ministry again and moving to Michigan. In June I signed a shorter lease on my apartment. Several of the obstacles "holding me back" like a reliable car and some personal debt are both going to be taken care of soon. I began to see it as an open door to start stepping out in faith and believing that it was really going to happen this time.

There has been a myriad of emotions on this journey. Excitement, passion, doubt, fear, complacency... everything from "Am I ever going to get there?" to "Do I really have to go?" I have known my whole life I have a calling on my life but it's gets tougher as I get older to believe it will truly come to fruition.

In all honesty the most important part of God's word for me was

YOU ARE GOING SOMEWHERE.

Just hearing that gave me hope. It confirmed to me that I wasn't crazy or misinformed or mistaken. I had heard Him right, and I needed to trust His timing. But the blessing of knowing that I will be going under His Authority and in His Love is also important, because why else would I bother going?? It would be a waste of time.

God is good. Not always safe, but good. A friend of mine recently sent me an email about the recent transition in his life and said

"I was overwhelmed by His love and He left me with no wiggle room."

That's exactly what it's like. There comes a point when it's so obvious that He knows what's best that you just can't argue with Him or deny Him anymore. I can't deny how He feels about me, how much He loves me, or that He knows what is best for me. I am compelled to do what He leads me to do because of His love for me, and mine for Him. It is overwhelming, but not suffocating. I wouldn't want it any other way.

Thriller hits the Phillipines

Dudes, that's a dude in that halter top. Some Phillipino Prison Warden has sick sense of humor. But at least I am entertained...

SpiderPig FULL version! (from simpsons movie)

Ok, let's try this again. I can't stop laughing!

community

So my father is OK. He finally was released to go back to work this week and is doing half days for now to get back into the swing of it. He's been off work since April 30. Thank God he has a great job with great benefits and extremely understanding superiors. His bosses even came to visit him in the hospital. It's a relief to see him back on track after the heart attack and the surgery. God has been faithful. And I know mom is relieved to have him out of the house for awhile!

My parents' church community did an amazing job taking care of my parents. I have never seen anything like it. My mom didn't cook for 6-7 weeks because of all the food they brought. People mowed the lawn, watered the flowers and new trees, came to visit, donated money, drove my mom to the hospital to see my dad, took them to their doctor appointments... it truly was an amazing wonder. It was such a relief to my brother who couldn't be here, and to me, who only had so much time off from work. I spent about ten days with them after the surgery and commuted the hour to work, but really felt like it was unnecessary with all the help they were getting. So I just went home on the weekends to help around the house and do whatever I could do.

It's been a long 3 months. Though my father has been recovering and healing like gangbusters the whole situation has really taken a toll. I had to step out of the worship team at church because I was always at my parents on the weekends. I have lost track of my own community right here. It feels weird now contacting my friends and trying to fit back into their lives. Same with my worship team and small group. It's nothing anyone has said or done necessarily but it's like a cloud hanging over me and I can't seem to shake it. Things have changed inside me over the last three months, and my friends' lives have continued. It seems like the community I moved here to be a part of over a year ago is not the same. I know seasons change, and my life has been a whirlwind of change. But I am finding it hard to adapt right now and hard to see where I fit into the grand scheme of things.

I told a friend the other night that spiritually I feel dry as the desert. I know that has a lot to do with my ability to deal with all the circumstances that have been thrown at me in the last 6 months. My healthy father had a heart attack and triple bypass surgery and I had to face the aging and mortality of my parents. One of my closest friends walked out of my life with no explanation. My closest Aunt has breast cancer and is now enduring chemotherapy. The stress of my job is through the roof. The dynamics of my friendships here close to home have changed. How can I possibly deal with all of this without the grace of God? I can't, which is why I think I am in the place where I am right now. Depressed and finding it hard to function. Having tension headaches that last for 4-5 days. Having to force myself to leave my apartment. None of this good. So, I know Where to go. But do I have the energy to get there?

kryptonite

Friday night last week the world came to a jarring halt. I got a phone call late evening from my mom on my aunt's cell phone...never a good sign. My father was in the hospital having a heart attack. Something in the atmosphere cracked open and the sound was deafening.

My dad is one of those kind of men that daughters use as a model to find their future husband. Not perfect. But so pure in heart and so sincere in life that it makes it almost impossible to find another man who can measure up. My parents have never spoken the word divorce; not once in almost 40 years of marriage. I have watched my father serve Christ and my mother for 32 years. He is a Superman who works overtime in his job, maintains 5 acres of land and a 100 year old house, serves in the ministry of the Church, and takes care of a wife who is chronically ill. His employers admire his work ethic, his children admire his integrity, and his peers admire his strength. He has been example to his older brothers, his family, and his co-workers.

Superman.

My dad was riding in the car with my mom, on his way to the chiropractor because he had been having severe shoulder/back pain all day. He came home from work early, which is rare. My mom was driving, which almost never happens.

Thank God it did on Friday.

My father passed out cold with his eyes wide open, and mom struggled to drive and search for his pulse at the same time. He came to and passed out 2 more times before they got to the Dr's office, all the while mom is beating on his chest with one hand and steering the car with the other. He was taken to the first hospital in a squad from the Chiropractor's office, and was stabilized there. Blood work confirmed it had been a heart attack. He was transported to a larger hospital, and there it was confirmed that four of his main arteries were blocked. He had severe issues and we never even knew it.

My dad lost about 65 pounds four or five years ago and has kept it off. He eats healthy, he walks on his lunch breaks, he gets regular physicals and stress tests. He brought his cholesterol down 40 points. All this and he still had a heart attack. He was taking care of himself because he knew heart disease was prominent in his family. And yet here he was, age 59 and lying in a hospital bed and facing possible quadruple bypass surgery.

Kryptonite.

I spent the first three days and 2 nights in hospital, barely sleeping in the waiting room. I couldn't imagine leaving him there alone. The thought of losing him was too great. The thought of him possibly dying there alone was unbearable. So I stayed.

And God was good. He bounced back almost immediately. His color returned, his eyes lit back up. He was bored just sitting there in the hospital bed. Seeing him look like himself so quickly was such a blessing. And so were the people who lined up to visit him all weekend long; family and friends showing their love and support. My dad, slightly embarrassed at all the attention, was able to see for just a moment how truly important he was to all of us. I hope that it sticks with him.

My Superman is not out of the woods yet. There is surgery and recovery yet to come to repair the damage done. But God has shown His sovereignty and his protection. I will trust in Him to continue to watch over my father and preserve his life. And I will give thanks to Him that in our weakness, He is made strong.

I love you, daddy.

priviledge

Check out my friend here......I have always been fascinated (and a little freaked out) by lizards. This Komodo Dragon was in the South East Asia part of the Columbus Zoo. I have been going to the zoo with my friend Christi and her daughter Shannon for the past couple of years and love it! I have always loved animals. More importantly it's something fun for the three of us to do together. Shannon is the closest thing to a niece that I have and I enjoy being a part of her life and watching her grow up. Looking at these pictures of last year's trip maybe me realize again how privileged I have been.

I look back at the last 31 years and I have so many awesome memories, most importantly in the area of relationship. My very nature craves authentic relationships with people, and God has blessed me over and over by bringing people into my life with which I can relate and grow and even just laugh uncontrollably. I take the art of friendship very seriously. So seriously that sometimes it is really hard for me to mingle in a new crowd. I am not a mixer-type person; I hated the ice breaker games that my youth pastor would force us into my entire adolescence. It takes me longer to get to know someone, longer to let them in, because I am looking for something deeper than just a good time. But once you're a friend, you're a friend for life. People I went to college with come to me when they want to know where someone is now, 10 years later. I have girls that I counseled in youth camp while they were teens, and I stayed in touch with them for years, through their college and marriages...

That's not to say that I don't have my issues. Maintaining this level of friendship can be hard work and painful, and I am not always as good at as I intend to be. It hurts more when we let each other down. We cut deeper because we are more intimate, and human nature just gets in the way of the ideal unconditional love. I am not naive enough to believe that any relationship is always 50/50. Life is too bumpy for that. The key is recognizing the difference between someone truly struggling and someone taking advantage of your kindness. I am all for boundaries and healthy relationships. But there will always be expectations in every relationship. They may wax and wane as circumstances change, but when you consider someone family, when you have given part of yourself to someone, there are expectations. You expect them to take your feelings into consideration. You expect them to honor your convictions and know when you're not yourself. You expect to be given the benefit of doubt when they hear something about you that upsets them. And when something goes wrong in any of these areas, you expect to hear I'm sorry. Sometimes the percentages look like 60/40 or 80/20, and even 90/10. But they need to fluctuate in order to be healthy.

I have been blessed with a lot of friends over the years. And naturally, there are those I have considered my closest friends; those who are like family. A lot of that comes from what we have experienced together spiritually, not just circumstantially or recreation-ally. I need to have people around me who know me well, and understand where I am in my walk with Jesus. I have found that I cannot function without this. God has created me to be a part of His body and I can't function alone. He alone is the Head. I can rely on Him when others let me down, but I can't walk away from my body completely when there is hardship. There will always be hardship. People are messy. But over time I have learned to not burn bridges unnecessarily because one day my life could take an unexpected turn and I might need to cross it again. Even when adversity takes place, or when the natural flow of life causes a relationship to drift, I want to handle it in such a way that the door is open for restoration and reunion.

Lord knows I don't always get it right. I have had to make apologies and I have faced regret. But I hope that I will be able to continue to learn in the journey and from the people God places in my life. Friendship is a privilege.

snow

It's a bit late, but winter is here for real. The last two weeks have been insane with dangerous temps and mountains of snow...We have snow emergency levels, which I have found out not every state has. Level 1 means "look out", level 2 means "don't go if you don't have to", and Level 3 means "drive and you might get arrested". One storm that hit last week started right before rush hour. It took me 45 minutes to get out of the parking lot, and another hour to get home. I only live 20 minutes away!! It was horrendous. This week I left early on Tues and had to stay home on Weds because my county was at a level 3. Cool thing is that I get paid because it was a level 3 emergency. That's an awesome bonus, but I felt bad for my teammates at work who live close and had to come bear the burden of so many people being gone. Ashland never sleeps!

The snow is about a foot deep outside my apartment, and I had to really struggle with my car to get backed out of my parking space. I have no shovel, and usually the apartment complex takes care of shoveling, but I think they were overworked this week and couldn't do everything in time. Even Honda cancelled 4 shifts in a row, you know it's bad cuz that costs like $5000+ a minute that the line is shut down... An hour south where I'm from we would get the snow, but more freezing rain and ice-which means losing electricity. Up here it's just mountains of snow! That's probably why we have a ski lodge 15 miles north of us...

It's been an environmentally stressful couple of weeks...I hope winter doesn't last longer since we got such a late start!! Here's the snow piled up outside my door the other night...

On a side note, I took this picture with my new phone! I got a Cherry Chocolate phone last month and I love it. Here's a pic of it....

Well, that's all that's going on around here. Later!

a year in review

A friend of mine copied a friend of his and posted the first line of the first post of each month last year. I thought to myself "Self, what a cool idea!" So I am doing the same as a reminder of where I have been and what God has done. The only difference is, I am going to copy the LAST line of the first post for every month...

January 2006
"May the Lord strengthen your resolve, and establish a foundation of Love in your heart that will change the world. "

February 2006
"One thing I love about God is the patience He shows in reminding my heart of the those things I already know in my head.. "

March 2006
"I am so thankful for His faithfulness! And thank all of you for praying for me!!"

April 2006
"God has heard my prayers of loneliness and discontent and He has brought to this Community of Believers. I'm home."

May 2006
" I PRAISE YOU JESUS for loving me enough to never give up on me!"

June 2006
"But my prayer is that my priorities stay in line with what Jesus says I need and when I need them; it is only then that I find the underlying peace that comes with knowing that God is truly in control of time. "

July 2006
"The good times are definitely out-weighing the bad, and God is blessing!"

August 2006
"I feel blessed to have had such a life altering experience."

September 2006
"It was good for my soul to see another miracle orchestrated in the life of one of His children: Thank you, Abba."

October 2006
"I stand amazed!"

November 2006
"There is nothing I would rather be than a testimony to the grace of God."

December 2006
"I have been truly blessed."

happy new year

Happy 2007 my friends! My resolution has been the same for the past several years, and that is to not make any resolutions! So, instead of disappointing myself by February for not keeping my goals, I am handing another year over to the Lord to fill with goals and promises He CAN keep. This new year has so much potential and promise, and I am anxious to see what God will do for His children.

May God bless each of you abundantly and show you favor. May His love permeate your lives and transform you a little more each day into who He has created you to be. I love you all!