I guess I have left ya'all hangin' on the blogfront about the job! Here's the scoop:
2 minutes into the interview - I had made a connection with the interviewing manager and could tell that this interview was going better than the last one.
40 minutes later - I was on the road back home, talking to friends on the phone and telling them how well it went and how peaceful I felt.
20 minutes after I got home - I got a phone call from the hiring firm wanting to know if I could start the next morning at 8:30!
24 hours later - I was finishing my very first day as an Ashland Chemicals employee!
Isn't God amazing?
So now, two weeks into the job, things are still going very well. I enjoy the job and the people I work with. Working in a sea of cubicles, (aka a "Cube Farm") is a new experience for me. And I am positive that in a couple months, the movie "Office Space" will take on a whole new meaning! But it's exciting and I feel confident that the Lord has placed me here for a reason. I am so thankful for His faithfulness! And thank all of you for praying for me!!
Monday, March 27, 2006
Friday, March 10, 2006
brighter days (bookend to "disappointment")
Ok, ok, I'm done moping. By the end of the day Wednesday I had received a call back from the company wanting me to interview in a different area with a different manager. It was funny because the woman who called me was afraid I'd think she was crazy because she had just told me that they weren't interested. I didn't think she was crazy, I thought God was faithful. She was just the messenger of His providence.
So on Monday I have another interview, and I am pursuing a couple of other promising leads as well. All hope is not lost, though it continues to be a struggle to see that fact. Sometimes I feel just fine, and sometimes I feel as if I am teetering on the edge of despair. And the sad thing is that it is almost completely because of the money issues. I feel like I am receiving so much spiritually and I can see growth already just being a part of a church family on a regular basis again. But I have a hard time, it seems, focusing on the the importance of the journey and not just the goal. It's not easy to remain positive when bill collectors are calling everyday.
I do, however, know that He has a plan for me. And I continue to hang on to Him for dear life, knowing that there is no place safer than the palm of His hand.
So on Monday I have another interview, and I am pursuing a couple of other promising leads as well. All hope is not lost, though it continues to be a struggle to see that fact. Sometimes I feel just fine, and sometimes I feel as if I am teetering on the edge of despair. And the sad thing is that it is almost completely because of the money issues. I feel like I am receiving so much spiritually and I can see growth already just being a part of a church family on a regular basis again. But I have a hard time, it seems, focusing on the the importance of the journey and not just the goal. It's not easy to remain positive when bill collectors are calling everyday.
I do, however, know that He has a plan for me. And I continue to hang on to Him for dear life, knowing that there is no place safer than the palm of His hand.
Wednesday, March 08, 2006
disappointment
What a slap in the head. I've never not received a job I have interviewed for before. Not ever. What the heck? The disappointment is a little overwhelming right now.
"They've hired someone who better suits their needs at this time."
It's disappointment like this that makes you want to wallow in all the doubts you had about yourself in the first place. And to find out at 1:00 AM when there is nobody to talk to! Nobody to vent with . . . nobody to tell you that they are missin' out on the world's best employee. It's THEIR loss, right? And what makes it worse is that it comes after 6 or more weeks of waiting and searching and fretting over bills that are overdue. Even the platitude that God has something more suited for me doesn't make me feel one ounce better. So I sit here and blog out of frustration and disappointment. Deep-seated emotional writing is not something I have done for a long time. I used to write poems full of anguish when I was in junior high and high school. Emotion seemed to just boil over in me, and writing was my only outlet. Over the years I developed friendships that have served as sounding boards. They have helped me stay sane, and my writing has become more reserved.
But now they're all asleep.
In 8 hours or so when I wake up everything will look brighter. I will have allowed the Lord to reign in my perspective and re-establish my positive attitude. But tonight I am allowing myself to grieve and be disappointed, and to wonder:
What in the world is God doing?
"They've hired someone who better suits their needs at this time."
It's disappointment like this that makes you want to wallow in all the doubts you had about yourself in the first place. And to find out at 1:00 AM when there is nobody to talk to! Nobody to vent with . . . nobody to tell you that they are missin' out on the world's best employee. It's THEIR loss, right? And what makes it worse is that it comes after 6 or more weeks of waiting and searching and fretting over bills that are overdue. Even the platitude that God has something more suited for me doesn't make me feel one ounce better. So I sit here and blog out of frustration and disappointment. Deep-seated emotional writing is not something I have done for a long time. I used to write poems full of anguish when I was in junior high and high school. Emotion seemed to just boil over in me, and writing was my only outlet. Over the years I developed friendships that have served as sounding boards. They have helped me stay sane, and my writing has become more reserved.
But now they're all asleep.
In 8 hours or so when I wake up everything will look brighter. I will have allowed the Lord to reign in my perspective and re-establish my positive attitude. But tonight I am allowing myself to grieve and be disappointed, and to wonder:
What in the world is God doing?
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