in honor of swanger

Today is one of my best friend's birthday. He has entered the 30's decade, and with more grace than I did, I must say. It's scary to say goodbye to the 20's, but Swanger is handling it very well. So in honor of his birthday, I want to give a shout out to him for being a pretty darn amazing friend.

We met over 15 years ago at church camp. (It seems like the most important people in my life are from "church camp". I'll have to write about that later.) We had some good times over the years, but a real connection started one cold February MANY years later, when I visited Michigan to see someone else, and spent some time with him at his parent's home. I don't know how to describe in words what made the difference. Swanger has this way of looking into your heart and soul. Conversations are rarely surface or superficial. He wants to know what makes you tick. Because authentic relationships are important to me, this quality attracted me like a moth to a flame. I remember spilling out some of the most painful circumstances in my life to him while sitting on the living room couch. (Right after a impromptu sing-a-long at the piano!) The tide of our acquaintance turned at this point toward deeper friendship.

Even more time passed, and more church camp, (even now as adults!), and the bond grew stronger. Several Ohio friends starting visiting Michigan with me, and Swanger became a regular part of our lives. The miles starting racking up, back and forth, on all of our vehicles. God was doing something in our hearts that was making it necessary to see one another, no matter what the cost. We were having fun together, laughing like it was our job, and enjoying and worshipping God together...but God had even bigger plans.

This foundation of friendship became a building block that God used to draw us closer to Him. Swanger and I, and several others, were on a spiritual journey: Each of us asking the Lord our own private questions and petitioning to know Him more. God began to speak to Swanger, who then in turn began to speak to us, and the entire experience revolutionized our relationship with Jesus forever. We had no idea what God had in mind when He drew us all together, but I look back now in utter amazement at the beauty of God's plan. We were able to share with one another in total trust and love the things God was doing, and had the opportunity to share in and praise His goodness. It is a experience we will be able to share forever.

On a lighter note, here is a list of things I am thankful that Swanger shared with me:

1. WILL FERRELL'S BEST OF SNL DVD. Goulet! By far the funniest SNL DVD of all time!
2. LaShish, garlic breath and all!
3. Misty Edwards, the IHOP Diva (I will never forget the impact of the first time we all listened to this CD in Kelly's van)
4. Jason Upton's music. Especially "Fly"...remember getting knocked on our faces during that song?
5. The tour of the Upper Pennisula Fall of '03. Amazing beauty.
6. Our elvish friend, Jen Lombardo and her fiery Furnace.
7. Your amazing gift of leading worship. Thank you for allowing me to be a part of your team.
8. Two words: FAMOUS DAVE'S!
9. Hours of cell phone conversations starting with laughter and ending with prayers and prophecy.
10. For loving me with the unconditional love of the Father.

Thanks, my friend, for allowing yourself to be used by God to enrich my life. I can't imagine my life without you.

Happy 30th Birthday, Aaron.

tis the season

My faith in God and His Creation was given a huge boost this morning. Interestingly enough, it all began around 6:00 AM. I hate that my days have been starting that early because “morning person” I am not. But one of my morning rituals is listening to morning shows on the radio. I specifically look for funny DJ’s who don’t play a lot of music. This may sound strange coming from a music lover, but in the mornings I like to have people talking to me. This morning I was listening to WNCI and within minutes of the show’s start, the DJ’s announced that their plans for the morning were going to be thrown out the window because something else had come up. Let me preface with the news story that inspired the morning programming on the most popular radio show in Central Ohio.

Thursday it was reported that the Salvation Army warehouse in Columbus had been robbed. Someone had stolen over 450 toys and gifts that were being stored for the annual Christmas Party. This event is held by the Salvation Army for local families who can’t afford presents for their children. They provided gifts for over 6500 kids last year. This was a blow to their efforts, especially considering the drop in donations this year due to stores banning their collection buckets and the needs of Hurricane Katrina victims. The DJ’s, as well as the rest of Central Ohio, were outraged that someone would steal toys from needy children. So, Dave & Jimmy decided to set up collections spots around the city to gather donations of toys to replace what was stolen. It was all so touching, and the response was so great, that I spent most of the morning in tears. Dozens of people instantly volunteered their morning, their vehicles, their money…and in the four hours they were on the air, they collected SEVEN THOUSAND TOYS and almost TEN THOUSAND DOLLARS in cash donations to go out and buy MORE toys. What started out as a last minute idea turned out to be a huge success. It was so amazing to see how quickly everyone responded and how generous people could be. Meijer’s Stores donated $5000 in cash, and several Wal*Marts donated hundreds of dollars in gift cards. A local Marine Corp. group donated over a thousand hand-held electronic games. It was just unbelievable.

This is more than just a “touchy feely” story to me. It was such a huge revelation of God’s sovereignty and orchestration. He used a couple of radio DJ’s (who often are so immoral I have to change the station) on a secular station to right the wrong of a thief who meant harm and threatened to “ruin Christmas” for several hundred children. The Salvation Army representatives were on the radio sharing their faith. The abundance of what was donated helped make up for the fact that Target and other stores would not allow the bell ringers outside their store anymore. And I also saw how God honored the Salvation Army for being such a huge part of the Katrina relief. It was all such a beautiful thing. I wish I could have written about it this morning while it was fresh on my heart! But hopefully you will get the point I am trying to make. It was such a beautiful picture painted by God of selfless love and sacrifice. One four year old girl went to the collection site and donated every new toy she had received the day before for her birthday. THAT my friends is the spirit of Christmas!

revelation

Several weeks ago I wrote about experiencing a spiritual "wilderness". Since then, it hasn't seemed to get any better. It's no wonder, when my life is pretty much centered around my job and I don't have a community that I worship with regularly. I am NOT created for 40+ hours a week in a factory or office. I am created for ministry and relationship building. I long for the day when that is more the focus of my life.

Last Sunday was a great day. I was able to go to the church I love and spend sometime singing and worshipping Jesus. During the sermon, which was about God's plan for us all, the Lord revealed a couple of very important things to my heart. I want to try and communicate these things because they were very impacting.

First, Jesus showed me that I was trying to find my identity in His calling rather than in Him. It doesn't matter if I am working in a factory or in ministry; HE is my center, and I will be known as HIS and not by any title or occupation. This is a difficult achievement in a world that asks not "Who are you?", but "What do you do?". I have faith that He is able to help me rest in the knowledge that I am His beloved, regardless of what might be on my name badge.

Second, and closely related, He revealed to me that validation would not come from achieving the next step (such as making it to language school or full time ministry) but from Him. In my submission to His timing, I am also agreeing to be satisfied wherever He has me. His love, His grace, His mercy . . . . these are my only validation. I am His and He is mine, regardless of where I am. It's not easy to face people sometimes when things seem to be taking longer than what might be considered "normal" as far as fundraising and preparation. Let me be brutally honest: it can be downright paralyzing worrying what "other people" might think. I should not be trying to "prove myself" to anyone. I am called to obey the Lord Jesus Christ, not man.

Breathing in this Truth was very freeing. I felt so much lighter and more peaceful when I left church that morning. Jesus has been faithful, yet again, to speak to my heart when I desperately needed to hear my Husband's voice.

wow

Three words:

NARNIA! SEE IT!

everybody has their limits

Working as holiday help the past couple months has been interesting. I have worked in so many small Christian office settings in the past five to six years that I had forgotten what it was like to be surrounded by a large number of fellow employees. The drama in the "real world" can be mildly entertaining at times, and sometimes it can make you crazy. I have a tough time being the one whom everyone comes to to talk about someone else, though I have been in that situation my entire life. I am not sure exactly what it is that makes people feel like they can trust me. Maybe it's because I don't spend my time talking about other people?? Anyway, it can be a big responsibility. In college I had a loveseat in my dorm room that everyone started calling "the therapy couch" because girls would always be in my room sharing their problems and frustrations. I enjoy being able to listen to people and offer advice when they want it, but it can be stressful, too. I'd never make it in the professional counseling world. I will leave that to my unbelievably gifted sister-in-law.

The biggest issue I have right now is my direct supervisor. She is one of the most negative people I have met, though she is really a very nice person. Most of the time I enjoy working with her, but as the holiday rush has hit, she gets more and more difficult. She loses it over the tiny stuff; an error message on the computer screen, the tape gun running out of tape, etc. Yesterday I had to keep to "re-claiming" the day under my breath because she kept saying over and over "This is going to be a bad day" and "We are going to be in backorder hell today". With all I have learned about positive thinking and watching the words that come out of my mouth, it has been increasingly difficult to work around someone so dramatic and negative. I will admit that I am naturally a more laid back person, and I am more reserved (not shy!) so it is easier for me to let things roll off my back. HOWEVER, my supervisor has an extreme case of the opposite!

Well this week has been a long week. I worked 2 hours overtime everyday and we were so swamped with orders that it was tough to keep up. At the end of the day yesterday something went wrong with the engraving machine I was working with and I made a "GRRRRRR" sound out loud. My supervisor looked over at me and laughed and said "You're starting to sound like me!" I looked at her and said, "Well, even I have my limits" and laughed it off.

Her comment brings two things to light. First, she, and undoubtedly others, are noticing how I react to my surroundings. They see how I handle stress and difficulty and they compare it to others. This leads me to believe that they also notice how I react to them 'bad-mouthing' fellow employees. This was a huge reminder to me that I don't live in a bubble and my reputation is at stake.

Second, it reminded me that I need to take care of myself if I expect to continue to be able to not sweat the small the stuff. Coming to work 2 hours early everyday, not going to bed any earlier, and NOT SPENDING ENOUGH QUIET TIME WITH JESUS all factor into whether or not I can adequately portray Jesus to the people I work with. God has given me the grace to be an example of JOY but I can also mess it up pretty good if I am not more intentional about it. Yesterday's comment didn't ruin everything I have tried to convey with my life at work. It's not like I started cussing or throwing things around the room. It just woke me up enough to realize how easy it would be to slip into a negative rut. I don't want to take for granted the opportunity God has given me to shed His light in the workplace.