...I have always been fascinated (and a little freaked out) by lizards. This Komodo Dragon was in the South East Asia part of the Columbus Zoo. I have been going to the zoo with my friend Christi and her daughter Shannon for the past couple of years and love it! I have always loved animals. More importantly it's something fun for the three of us to do together. Shannon is the closest thing to a niece that I have and I enjoy being a part of her life and watching her grow up. Looking at these pictures of last year's trip maybe me realize again how privileged I have been.I look back at the last 31 years and I have so many awesome memories, most importantly in the area of relationship. My very nature craves authentic relationships with people, and God has blessed me over and over by bringing people into my life with which I can relate and grow and even just laugh uncontrollably. I take the art of friendship very seriously. So seriously that sometimes it is really hard for me to mingle in a new crowd. I am not a mixer-type person; I hated the ice breaker games that my youth pastor would force us into my entire adolescence. It takes me longer to get to know someone, longer to let them in, because I am looking for something deeper than just a good time. But once you're a friend, you're a friend for life. People I went to college with come to me when they want to know where someone is now, 10 years later. I have girls that I counseled in youth camp while they were teens, and I stayed in touch with them for years, through their college and marriages...
That's not to say that I don't have my issues. Maintaining this level of friendship can be hard work and painful, and I am not always as good at as I intend to be. It hurts more when we let each other down. We cut deeper because we are more intimate, and human nature just gets in the way of the ideal unconditional love. I am not naive enough to believe that any relationship is always 50/50. Life is too bumpy for that. The key is recognizing the difference between someone truly struggling and someone taking advantage of your kindness. I am all for boundaries and healthy relationships. But there will always be expectations in every relationship. They may wax and wane as circumstances change, but when you consider someone family, when you have given part of yourself to someone, there are expectations. You expect them to take your feelings into consideration. You expect them to honor your convictions and know when you're not yourself. You expect to be given the benefit of doubt when they hear something about you that upsets them. And when something goes wrong in any of these areas, you expect to hear I'm sorry. Sometimes the percentages look like 60/40 or 80/20, and even 90/10. But they need to fluctuate in order to be healthy.
I have been blessed with a lot of friends over the years. And naturally, there are those I have considered my closest friends; those who are like family. A lot of that comes from what we have experienced together spiritually, not just circumstantially or recreation-ally. I need to have people around me who know me well, and understand where I am in my walk with Jesus. I have found that I cannot function without this. God has created me to be a part of His body and I can't function alone. He alone is the Head. I can rely on Him when others let me down, but I can't walk away from my body completely when there is hardship. There will always be hardship. People are messy. But over time I have learned to not burn bridges unnecessarily because one day my life could take an unexpected turn and I might need to cross it again. Even when adversity takes place, or when the natural flow of life causes a relationship to drift, I want to handle it in such a way that the door is open for restoration and reunion.
Lord knows I don't always get it right. I have had to make apologies and I have faced regret. But I hope that I will be able to continue to learn in the journey and from the people God places in my life. Friendship is a privilege.
