What a slap in the head. I've never not received a job I have interviewed for before. Not ever. What the heck? The disappointment is a little overwhelming right now.
"They've hired someone who better suits their needs at this time."
It's disappointment like this that makes you want to wallow in all the doubts you had about yourself in the first place. And to find out at 1:00 AM when there is nobody to talk to! Nobody to vent with . . . nobody to tell you that they are missin' out on the world's best employee. It's THEIR loss, right? And what makes it worse is that it comes after 6 or more weeks of waiting and searching and fretting over bills that are overdue. Even the platitude that God has something more suited for me doesn't make me feel one ounce better. So I sit here and blog out of frustration and disappointment. Deep-seated emotional writing is not something I have done for a long time. I used to write poems full of anguish when I was in junior high and high school. Emotion seemed to just boil over in me, and writing was my only outlet. Over the years I developed friendships that have served as sounding boards. They have helped me stay sane, and my writing has become more reserved.
But now they're all asleep.
In 8 hours or so when I wake up everything will look brighter. I will have allowed the Lord to reign in my perspective and re-establish my positive attitude. But tonight I am allowing myself to grieve and be disappointed, and to wonder:
What in the world is God doing?
4 comments:
Darn right it's their loss! What were they thinking!? God must be up to something. Don't wallow too long. May the Lord be the lifter of your head. I find eating chocolate helps me in these kinds of situations. Well...chocolate is eaten by me in any kind of situation...man I suck at giving advice. I'll stop now. : )
Jen
Thanks Jen. Thanks for being cheerful and making me smile, and for taking time out to care about my struggles when you have so much to deal with right now. I will be praying for your mom, your own health, and your finances. I love you, friend. CHOCOLATE IS ALWAYS THE ANSWER!
It's all good... you got great friends and roof over your head! Wish Cheryl and I were down there to hang and laugh the nights away!!
Chocolate?! I WANT SOME! I'm sorry about your job :( Just remember that God will be with you on this. Be full of joy, for that is your middle name!
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