everybody has their limits

Working as holiday help the past couple months has been interesting. I have worked in so many small Christian office settings in the past five to six years that I had forgotten what it was like to be surrounded by a large number of fellow employees. The drama in the "real world" can be mildly entertaining at times, and sometimes it can make you crazy. I have a tough time being the one whom everyone comes to to talk about someone else, though I have been in that situation my entire life. I am not sure exactly what it is that makes people feel like they can trust me. Maybe it's because I don't spend my time talking about other people?? Anyway, it can be a big responsibility. In college I had a loveseat in my dorm room that everyone started calling "the therapy couch" because girls would always be in my room sharing their problems and frustrations. I enjoy being able to listen to people and offer advice when they want it, but it can be stressful, too. I'd never make it in the professional counseling world. I will leave that to my unbelievably gifted sister-in-law.

The biggest issue I have right now is my direct supervisor. She is one of the most negative people I have met, though she is really a very nice person. Most of the time I enjoy working with her, but as the holiday rush has hit, she gets more and more difficult. She loses it over the tiny stuff; an error message on the computer screen, the tape gun running out of tape, etc. Yesterday I had to keep to "re-claiming" the day under my breath because she kept saying over and over "This is going to be a bad day" and "We are going to be in backorder hell today". With all I have learned about positive thinking and watching the words that come out of my mouth, it has been increasingly difficult to work around someone so dramatic and negative. I will admit that I am naturally a more laid back person, and I am more reserved (not shy!) so it is easier for me to let things roll off my back. HOWEVER, my supervisor has an extreme case of the opposite!

Well this week has been a long week. I worked 2 hours overtime everyday and we were so swamped with orders that it was tough to keep up. At the end of the day yesterday something went wrong with the engraving machine I was working with and I made a "GRRRRRR" sound out loud. My supervisor looked over at me and laughed and said "You're starting to sound like me!" I looked at her and said, "Well, even I have my limits" and laughed it off.

Her comment brings two things to light. First, she, and undoubtedly others, are noticing how I react to my surroundings. They see how I handle stress and difficulty and they compare it to others. This leads me to believe that they also notice how I react to them 'bad-mouthing' fellow employees. This was a huge reminder to me that I don't live in a bubble and my reputation is at stake.

Second, it reminded me that I need to take care of myself if I expect to continue to be able to not sweat the small the stuff. Coming to work 2 hours early everyday, not going to bed any earlier, and NOT SPENDING ENOUGH QUIET TIME WITH JESUS all factor into whether or not I can adequately portray Jesus to the people I work with. God has given me the grace to be an example of JOY but I can also mess it up pretty good if I am not more intentional about it. Yesterday's comment didn't ruin everything I have tried to convey with my life at work. It's not like I started cussing or throwing things around the room. It just woke me up enough to realize how easy it would be to slip into a negative rut. I don't want to take for granted the opportunity God has given me to shed His light in the workplace.