goodbyes

One of things I have mentioned learning about is how to say healthy goodbyes. You might be thinking "how can a goodbye could be healthy or un-healthy in normal life?", but in my line of work, it makes a difference. I am not saying goodbye 'until tomorrow', I am learning to say goodbye with the possibility of it being for good. So what does a healthy goodbye entail? What makes it healthy? I am by no means on expert on this because I still struggle with the whole business! My emotions are on such a rollercoaster sometimes that one of two things happen: either they spill out in tears or roll over the people I love in frustrated anger. You would think I could get a grip, but the last couple of years have been rather tough to process. Very few people truly understand what I am going through, and the ones who REALLY understand are spread out all over the world doing the Lord's work. So in saying goodbye someone, it's difficult to say what I really want to say.

For example, my girl, Autumn, just left for college. You'd think by the wave of emotions rolling though me that she was my younger sister, or my own daughter or something. Truth is we have become so close in the past year that it really IS like that. Her family is as much a part of my life as my own. And her brother, Jonathan, left for college the week before...above is a picture of them over the summer. There have been a lot of goodbyes in the past few weeks as friends and students I have worked with are moving away to school. I had to write Jonathan and Autumn letters because I really couldn't get my feelings past the lump in my throat. But that is an example of the first step to a healthy goodbye--actually finding a way to SAY IT. I know some would rather just skip it. But that only leads to regret. I want the people I love to know how they impacted my life. And not just when I am saying goodbye; all throughout the relationship. So even if I have to write letters to every person I know to get my true feelings out, I am willing to do that.

A healthy goodbye paves the road for a healthy re-aquaintance in the future. When you walk away from someone's life for a long period of time, everything changes. Time doesn't stand still in order for you to pick up where you left off. So the place where you left off should be a positive one so new common ground is easier to plow. Lord, give me the strength to reign in my emotions so I can show people how I truly feel about them; not just when I say goodbye, but every day I have left with them.