A friend of mine copied a friend of his and posted the first line of the first post of each month last year. I thought to myself "Self, what a cool idea!" So I am doing the same as a reminder of where I have been and what God has done. The only difference is, I am going to copy the LAST line of the first post for every month...
January 2006
"May the Lord strengthen your resolve, and establish a foundation of Love in your heart that will change the world. "
February 2006
"One thing I love about God is the patience He shows in reminding my heart of the those things I already know in my head.. "
March 2006
"I am so thankful for His faithfulness! And thank all of you for praying for me!!"
April 2006
"God has heard my prayers of loneliness and discontent and He has brought to this Community of Believers. I'm home."
May 2006
" I PRAISE YOU JESUS for loving me enough to never give up on me!"
June 2006
"But my prayer is that my priorities stay in line with what Jesus says I need and when I need them; it is only then that I find the underlying peace that comes with knowing that God is truly in control of time. "
July 2006
"The good times are definitely out-weighing the bad, and God is blessing!"
August 2006
"I feel blessed to have had such a life altering experience."
September 2006
"It was good for my soul to see another miracle orchestrated in the life of one of His children: Thank you, Abba."
October 2006
"I stand amazed!"
November 2006
"There is nothing I would rather be than a testimony to the grace of God."
December 2006
"I have been truly blessed."
Thursday, January 04, 2007
Tuesday, January 02, 2007
happy new year
Happy 2007 my friends! My resolution has been the same for the past several years, and that is to not make any resolutions! So, instead of disappointing myself by February for not keeping my goals, I am handing another year over to the Lord to fill with goals and promises He CAN keep. This new year has so much potential and promise, and I am anxious to see what God will do for His children.May God bless each of you abundantly and show you favor. May His love permeate your lives and transform you a little more each day into who He has created you to be. I love you all!
Thursday, December 28, 2006
'tristmas" pt 2
So, little did I know when I wrote my last entry what this Christmas would actually hold for me and my family...
Thursday morning before Christmas I got a call from my dad, which in and of itself is a reason for me to worry. Listening to the message, I discovered that mom had intestinal flu, and they didn't think it would be a good idea for me to come home. I wasn't planning to be there until late Saturday, so I emailed him and told him that I would wait until Sunday afternoon, but I couldn't just NOT come home for Christmas. I was hoping it would be a 24 hour thing and all would be as it should by then...
Saturday I got a message from mom, she was not any better and now dad had caught the bug. According to her it was the world's worst flu, and she didn't want me near them. Also, the house was not ready, nor the food or gifts...
Now there was an issue. I live alone, over an hour from my parents, and the thought of spending Christmas Eve into Christmas morning alone for the first time in my life did not sound pleasant. I am blessed with friends who are like family, and I could spend Christmas Day with them, but the night before.... no candlelight service, no special meal, no cookies and hot chocolate by the fireplace... and waking up alone on Christmas morning... I'd like to spiritualize all of it, and say that it was an awesome opportunity to reflect on Jesus and it was the best thing that ever happened to me. While I did spend time reflecting on Jesus, and I tried to make the best of it while cooking myself a nice meal and wrapping gifts, it was still very difficult. One ray of light from the Lord came through a phone call from a friend spending his first Christmas away from home as well, and it reminded me of all of my friends overseas who would be missing their family this night. Remembering this eased the pain, and helped me realize that I wasn't truly alone. Besides that, as miserable I was, it was nothing compared to what my parents were facing. Mom said she lost 10 lbs in 4 days...
I had fun on Christmas day with my friends and truly enjoyed the relaxation of having a four day weekend from work. And I'll have Christmas with my family; it's only been postponed. I watched "How the Grinch Stole Christmas"
on Christmas day and it reminded me again that Christmas comes, with or without trappings, because that's not what it's about anyway. But this experience also made me appreciate my family even more than the traditions we have in place. I know that I can live without the traditions, though it's nice to have the memories we have made over the years together. I realized that I just wanted to be with THEM, whether we had presents or food or not. I have been truly blessed.
Thursday morning before Christmas I got a call from my dad, which in and of itself is a reason for me to worry. Listening to the message, I discovered that mom had intestinal flu, and they didn't think it would be a good idea for me to come home. I wasn't planning to be there until late Saturday, so I emailed him and told him that I would wait until Sunday afternoon, but I couldn't just NOT come home for Christmas. I was hoping it would be a 24 hour thing and all would be as it should by then...
Saturday I got a message from mom, she was not any better and now dad had caught the bug. According to her it was the world's worst flu, and she didn't want me near them. Also, the house was not ready, nor the food or gifts...
Now there was an issue. I live alone, over an hour from my parents, and the thought of spending Christmas Eve into Christmas morning alone for the first time in my life did not sound pleasant. I am blessed with friends who are like family, and I could spend Christmas Day with them, but the night before.... no candlelight service, no special meal, no cookies and hot chocolate by the fireplace... and waking up alone on Christmas morning... I'd like to spiritualize all of it, and say that it was an awesome opportunity to reflect on Jesus and it was the best thing that ever happened to me. While I did spend time reflecting on Jesus, and I tried to make the best of it while cooking myself a nice meal and wrapping gifts, it was still very difficult. One ray of light from the Lord came through a phone call from a friend spending his first Christmas away from home as well, and it reminded me of all of my friends overseas who would be missing their family this night. Remembering this eased the pain, and helped me realize that I wasn't truly alone. Besides that, as miserable I was, it was nothing compared to what my parents were facing. Mom said she lost 10 lbs in 4 days...
I had fun on Christmas day with my friends and truly enjoyed the relaxation of having a four day weekend from work. And I'll have Christmas with my family; it's only been postponed. I watched "How the Grinch Stole Christmas"
on Christmas day and it reminded me again that Christmas comes, with or without trappings, because that's not what it's about anyway. But this experience also made me appreciate my family even more than the traditions we have in place. I know that I can live without the traditions, though it's nice to have the memories we have made over the years together. I realized that I just wanted to be with THEM, whether we had presents or food or not. I have been truly blessed.
Friday, December 08, 2006
"tristmas"
The Christmas season turns a lot people into kids again. "Tristmas" was how I pronounced Christmas in COLLEGE, not as a child. I get downright giddy when it comes to decorating and giving gifts and pulling out the Christmas music...sometimes it makes me sound like a moron. But I have always been a kid at heart. I love cartoons; Disney movies, Spongebob Squarepants, and(much to my brother's dismay) I know every Veggie Tale silly song by heart. And the music! I remember getting the Mariah Carey Christmas CD for myself the year I knew I was getting my first CD player. My college friends and I listened to that thing year 'round!
I don't remember a lot of Christmas's before 5-6th grade. I remember my first cabbage patch doll, and different gifts I got throughout the years, but the most ingrained memory is the traditional Christmas celebration in the Pierce household. We got it all mapped out early (I don't even remember how it started!) and though we have tried to deviate from "the plan" over the years, we ALWAYS came back to the family traditions. My mom brought organization to the chaos on my dad's side of the family. She went over to my grandparents' early in their relationship and it was a free-for-all around the tree...Everyone opening all their presents at once. It was over in minutes and no one knew who got what and and from whom. She started having them take turns from youngest to oldest and it stuck, there and in our own home. It gave everyone a chance to sit and share with one another and give thanks for what they were receiving.
Here is what a Christmas Eve and Christmas Day would look like in our home. (Mom always wanted the quality time to last as long as possible!) :
Christmas Eve was full of baking and wrapping and getting ready for the next day. We would go to the candlelight Christmas Eve service at our church and then come home and have a nice meal, and then hot chocolate and cookies around the fireplace. Mom NEVER put all the presents under the tree before Christmas morning. She always waited until we went to bed to fill it up so that we would be surprised in the morning. Even after we stopped believing in Santa, she would keep our presents hidden. She also does not like to tell one of us what she got for the other. Only if she needed advice or help did she reveal what she got anyone.
On Christmas morning we would wake up and go down and start with stockings. We even took turns with those, reaching in for one thing at a time, going in order of youngest to oldest. When my sister in law joined our gathering, she had problems with this in particular. I don't know how many times my brother would call her out for digging around in her stocking when it was someone else's turn. She would just get this cute obviously guilty look on her face. I think he was maybe jus jealous he wasn't the youngest in the family anymore! Once those were done we would all go and help fix breakfast. Usually it was dad's famous scrambled eggs and some amazing baked sweet creation from mom. Only after we were finished with breakfast would we start passing out the gifts. Opening one at a time prolonged our time together, and it made the magic of Christmas morning last.
As an adult now I find myself still clinging to those things. I want the same tree we had growing up (though it's the oldest and fakest fake tree ever), I want the schedule to be the same, I want my brother to be there. But things change. The old tree has been retired for a number of tiny pencil trees, we only get my brother and sister every other year now, and I don't live at home anymore. Living on my own I miss most of the decorating and baking that goes on at my parents'. But times change, don't they? QUICKLY! And not everything can stay the same. It's nice to have traditions, but it's so easy to get unyielding or legalistic, and then we miss the whole point of Christmas: which is celebrating Christ.
I don't remember a lot of Christmas's before 5-6th grade. I remember my first cabbage patch doll, and different gifts I got throughout the years, but the most ingrained memory is the traditional Christmas celebration in the Pierce household. We got it all mapped out early (I don't even remember how it started!) and though we have tried to deviate from "the plan" over the years, we ALWAYS came back to the family traditions. My mom brought organization to the chaos on my dad's side of the family. She went over to my grandparents' early in their relationship and it was a free-for-all around the tree...Everyone opening all their presents at once. It was over in minutes and no one knew who got what and and from whom. She started having them take turns from youngest to oldest and it stuck, there and in our own home. It gave everyone a chance to sit and share with one another and give thanks for what they were receiving.
Here is what a Christmas Eve and Christmas Day would look like in our home. (Mom always wanted the quality time to last as long as possible!) :
Christmas Eve was full of baking and wrapping and getting ready for the next day. We would go to the candlelight Christmas Eve service at our church and then come home and have a nice meal, and then hot chocolate and cookies around the fireplace. Mom NEVER put all the presents under the tree before Christmas morning. She always waited until we went to bed to fill it up so that we would be surprised in the morning. Even after we stopped believing in Santa, she would keep our presents hidden. She also does not like to tell one of us what she got for the other. Only if she needed advice or help did she reveal what she got anyone.
On Christmas morning we would wake up and go down and start with stockings. We even took turns with those, reaching in for one thing at a time, going in order of youngest to oldest. When my sister in law joined our gathering, she had problems with this in particular. I don't know how many times my brother would call her out for digging around in her stocking when it was someone else's turn. She would just get this cute obviously guilty look on her face. I think he was maybe jus jealous he wasn't the youngest in the family anymore! Once those were done we would all go and help fix breakfast. Usually it was dad's famous scrambled eggs and some amazing baked sweet creation from mom. Only after we were finished with breakfast would we start passing out the gifts. Opening one at a time prolonged our time together, and it made the magic of Christmas morning last.
As an adult now I find myself still clinging to those things. I want the same tree we had growing up (though it's the oldest and fakest fake tree ever), I want the schedule to be the same, I want my brother to be there. But things change. The old tree has been retired for a number of tiny pencil trees, we only get my brother and sister every other year now, and I don't live at home anymore. Living on my own I miss most of the decorating and baking that goes on at my parents'. But times change, don't they? QUICKLY! And not everything can stay the same. It's nice to have traditions, but it's so easy to get unyielding or legalistic, and then we miss the whole point of Christmas: which is celebrating Christ.
"For unto us is born this day in the city of David, a Savior Who is Christ the Lord."
Wednesday, November 22, 2006
thanks
I want to be truly grateful for what God has given me.
Last Sunday Pastor Steve preached on being truly grateful for all things, good and bad, roses and thorns, because all things work together for God's good. He said that the root of ingratitude is accusation. By being ungrateful we accuse God of not knowing what is best for us or how to care for His own. Putting it that way is really a revelation and it illuminates the true damage of grumbling and complaining. I don't believe there is anything wrong with being honest with God regarding our circumstances. He doesn't call us to be 'happy all the day' like the old hymn implies. I do believe that our joy and faith needs to come from a deeper place; a place that the mucky sludge of life cannot taint. When we believe in the delicate balance of our personal choices and their consequences vs. The ultimate fact that God is in control of all things, rolling with the punches comes a little easier.
I got a picture from the Lord once for a friend going through a major trauma in her life. I saw my friend and her family standing in their dining room, and this "invisible" presence was surrounding them and holding them close in one arm, while the other arm was stretched out in front of them. Their circumstances were standing before them, but everything that was being hurled at them was being filtered through the hand of the One holding on to them. What an awesome picture of what our Father does for us. The pain and the trials of this world are bound to come, but God is there, filtering everything that comes at us so that we are not faced with more than we can handle through His power. Accepting that kind of picture requires something profound--the faith to believe that the trials we face can be ultimately used for our good, and for the good of those around us. We have to reconcile ourselves with the truth that while God is all powerful and could squash every painful thing that comes our way, He allows certain things to happen because of 1) Free Will and consequences, 2) our trials make us stronger as a person and as a believer, and 3) our experiences help us relate to people around us who need to know Jesus. This is only part of the picture; a simplistic view of why "bad things happen to good people". We can never fully comprehend the big picture, the plans and mind of God. But we can believe in His inherent goodness and unconditional love and cling to the promise that all things work together for good for those who love Him.
So I want to be grateful for all the blessings God has given me this Thanksgiving and all the time...My family and friends, my job, my apartment, my church...But I also want to thank Him for the trials I face that make me stronger and that show me the glory of His power. When I come through something tough victoriously, it is a testimony to His amazing grace and faithfulness. There is nothing I would rather be than a testimony to the grace of God.
Happy Thanksgiving, my friends.
Last Sunday Pastor Steve preached on being truly grateful for all things, good and bad, roses and thorns, because all things work together for God's good. He said that the root of ingratitude is accusation. By being ungrateful we accuse God of not knowing what is best for us or how to care for His own. Putting it that way is really a revelation and it illuminates the true damage of grumbling and complaining. I don't believe there is anything wrong with being honest with God regarding our circumstances. He doesn't call us to be 'happy all the day' like the old hymn implies. I do believe that our joy and faith needs to come from a deeper place; a place that the mucky sludge of life cannot taint. When we believe in the delicate balance of our personal choices and their consequences vs. The ultimate fact that God is in control of all things, rolling with the punches comes a little easier.
I got a picture from the Lord once for a friend going through a major trauma in her life. I saw my friend and her family standing in their dining room, and this "invisible" presence was surrounding them and holding them close in one arm, while the other arm was stretched out in front of them. Their circumstances were standing before them, but everything that was being hurled at them was being filtered through the hand of the One holding on to them. What an awesome picture of what our Father does for us. The pain and the trials of this world are bound to come, but God is there, filtering everything that comes at us so that we are not faced with more than we can handle through His power. Accepting that kind of picture requires something profound--the faith to believe that the trials we face can be ultimately used for our good, and for the good of those around us. We have to reconcile ourselves with the truth that while God is all powerful and could squash every painful thing that comes our way, He allows certain things to happen because of 1) Free Will and consequences, 2) our trials make us stronger as a person and as a believer, and 3) our experiences help us relate to people around us who need to know Jesus. This is only part of the picture; a simplistic view of why "bad things happen to good people". We can never fully comprehend the big picture, the plans and mind of God. But we can believe in His inherent goodness and unconditional love and cling to the promise that all things work together for good for those who love Him.
So I want to be grateful for all the blessings God has given me this Thanksgiving and all the time...My family and friends, my job, my apartment, my church...But I also want to thank Him for the trials I face that make me stronger and that show me the glory of His power. When I come through something tough victoriously, it is a testimony to His amazing grace and faithfulness. There is nothing I would rather be than a testimony to the grace of God.
Happy Thanksgiving, my friends.
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
my turn to ramble
Ok, not to steal anything from Scott, but I just wanted to be random and ramble on about things that are bouncing around in my head.
Have you all heard the new group Under the Influence of Giants? All I had was a single until recently someone gave me the album. I LOVE this group. You have to check it out. I have also recently acquired The Killers new album, Sam's Town. Yum.
My friend Derek recently posted some stuff about music and asked what songs we would like to see live. I immediately went to 80's music and listed songs by some of the Big Hair Bands like Def Leopard and Guns N Roses. He commented on that, saying what about the 90's? Well, I think it's because of a couple of reasons. The 80's was when I was in junior high and high school. Music was just becoming influential, and hearing that stuff really takes you back. I also don't think that the 90's have been gone long enough for us to miss the music as much. I remember when the 80's music hit "oldies" status because we hit the 20 year mark. I don't like the term "oldies" very much! I am sure our parents didn't either when their rock and roll became dated. I am only starting to miss the 90's. The grunge era with Smashing Pumpkins and Nirvana, Soundgarden and Stone Temple Pilots. I loved that stuff, too. Mmmm, and Ben Folds Five. "Brick" is such a great song...I loved that depressed piano driven sound...
I am housesitting and dog-sitting for the Donnelly's this week. They are off in Florida enjoying the sun. It's raining here, the usual for Ohio fall weather. Taking care of Bailey is a dichotomy. He is a great dog, but I am not used to having someone to come home to and take care of. I see how independent I have become and wonder how I would ever live with someone if I got married. Don't get me wrong, I'd like to find out! But as I get older I realize how settled I have become. It's nice having someone at home happy to see me. But at the same time, what happens when I don't come home soon enough? :o) (Don't worry Scott and Cheryl, I am not neglecting your boy!) It's just been interesting considering these things.
Cool things have been happening at work. It takes me a long time to get to know people sometimes, and that means I am pretty reserved until I feel comfortable. I have noticed in the last few weeks, however, that things have changed with my coworkers. I have such a great time with them now; we spend the day laughing at stupid mistakes, bothersome sales reps, and crazy customer requests. It's such a stress reliever for me to be able to make smart comments out loud and laugh with my friends about what's going on during the day. We have decided to start going out after work every once in awhile so we can get to know each other better. It's such a blessing to actually enjoy my work and my work environment. Plus I am making new friends in the area which is always a good thing. After all the stress over the summer, it's nice to have a full team again on the phones so the work load is more tolerable.
My car, however, is not so good. I have had it in the shop every month for the past 3 months, and once over the summer. I have surpassed what I paid for it long ago. Jesus, please send me a more reliable car! He has already blessed me with a Christian mechanic who lets me make payments on the repairs and has a loaner he gives out at no charge. I am not complaining. It's just that the stress of car trouble gives me nightmares. I have noticed an empathy that has come from all the trouble I have experienced. Every time I see a car pulled over on the side of the road I immediately say a prayer for them. Sometimes if it looks like a desperate enough situation I tear up. It's really affects me. I pray that the Lord intervenes soon and helps me either be able to afford a car payment, or works a miracle in some other way.
Last but not least, for those of you who love the old 80's movies like 16 candles, Breakfast Club, Karate Kid, and so many others, I have the movie for you! VH1 did an original movie spoofing all the great 80's scenarios. It's called Totally Awesome and they have been playing it everyday since Saturday. You should really check it out if you are interested...I laughed and laughed.
Peace out for now!
Have you all heard the new group Under the Influence of Giants? All I had was a single until recently someone gave me the album. I LOVE this group. You have to check it out. I have also recently acquired The Killers new album, Sam's Town. Yum.
My friend Derek recently posted some stuff about music and asked what songs we would like to see live. I immediately went to 80's music and listed songs by some of the Big Hair Bands like Def Leopard and Guns N Roses. He commented on that, saying what about the 90's? Well, I think it's because of a couple of reasons. The 80's was when I was in junior high and high school. Music was just becoming influential, and hearing that stuff really takes you back. I also don't think that the 90's have been gone long enough for us to miss the music as much. I remember when the 80's music hit "oldies" status because we hit the 20 year mark. I don't like the term "oldies" very much! I am sure our parents didn't either when their rock and roll became dated. I am only starting to miss the 90's. The grunge era with Smashing Pumpkins and Nirvana, Soundgarden and Stone Temple Pilots. I loved that stuff, too. Mmmm, and Ben Folds Five. "Brick" is such a great song...I loved that depressed piano driven sound...
I am housesitting and dog-sitting for the Donnelly's this week. They are off in Florida enjoying the sun. It's raining here, the usual for Ohio fall weather. Taking care of Bailey is a dichotomy. He is a great dog, but I am not used to having someone to come home to and take care of. I see how independent I have become and wonder how I would ever live with someone if I got married. Don't get me wrong, I'd like to find out! But as I get older I realize how settled I have become. It's nice having someone at home happy to see me. But at the same time, what happens when I don't come home soon enough? :o) (Don't worry Scott and Cheryl, I am not neglecting your boy!) It's just been interesting considering these things.
Cool things have been happening at work. It takes me a long time to get to know people sometimes, and that means I am pretty reserved until I feel comfortable. I have noticed in the last few weeks, however, that things have changed with my coworkers. I have such a great time with them now; we spend the day laughing at stupid mistakes, bothersome sales reps, and crazy customer requests. It's such a stress reliever for me to be able to make smart comments out loud and laugh with my friends about what's going on during the day. We have decided to start going out after work every once in awhile so we can get to know each other better. It's such a blessing to actually enjoy my work and my work environment. Plus I am making new friends in the area which is always a good thing. After all the stress over the summer, it's nice to have a full team again on the phones so the work load is more tolerable.
My car, however, is not so good. I have had it in the shop every month for the past 3 months, and once over the summer. I have surpassed what I paid for it long ago. Jesus, please send me a more reliable car! He has already blessed me with a Christian mechanic who lets me make payments on the repairs and has a loaner he gives out at no charge. I am not complaining. It's just that the stress of car trouble gives me nightmares. I have noticed an empathy that has come from all the trouble I have experienced. Every time I see a car pulled over on the side of the road I immediately say a prayer for them. Sometimes if it looks like a desperate enough situation I tear up. It's really affects me. I pray that the Lord intervenes soon and helps me either be able to afford a car payment, or works a miracle in some other way.
Last but not least, for those of you who love the old 80's movies like 16 candles, Breakfast Club, Karate Kid, and so many others, I have the movie for you! VH1 did an original movie spoofing all the great 80's scenarios. It's called Totally Awesome and they have been playing it everyday since Saturday. You should really check it out if you are interested...I laughed and laughed.
Peace out for now!
Thursday, October 12, 2006
lost
Ok, so I felt like writing about something fun and frivolous this time... I LOVE LOST!
I missed the premire last week, so my friends Scott and Cheryl were kind enough to download it for me on their computer. I went over to their house last night and we had a mini-LOST-athon. We watched last weeks episode and then watched the new one. Sawyer, pictured to the left, is my favorite. Everytime he calls Kate "Freckles" I melt. Sayid is a close second, pictured on the right.
For those of you who don't watch it, you're missing out. The intrigue is top notch. There is so much going on in the plot with these poor airplane crash victims that it will make your head spin. My mom has a hard time following the flashbacks in shows or movies, but I love they way they do them in LOST. You get glimpses of their lives before the crash that help you understand a little more about who they are and how their pasts intertwine. It's gets more tangled and twisted with every season, and I LOVE IT! This season revealed a huge part of the mystery of "the Others", the rivals that the crash victims have been scrapping with since they got there. Everything that has looked so much like coincidence or bad luck is fading away with each episode. Next week we get to see if Locke can still walk since the magnetic field has been blown...
No idea what I'm talking about? Jumping in this season might only be frustrating. Get the first couple seasons on DVD first to catch up. Losing interest because of all the re-runs last season? Try again! This season there will be NO reruns. They will take a break in the middle of the season instead dragging everything out for the whole year. It should be much more cohesive now.
In the first season I wondered how in the world they could make one incident last through one season, much less several. I stand amazed!
Sunday, September 10, 2006
everybody wants to go to heaven...but nobody wants to die...
I had a fun experience this morning. I had the opportunity to be a part of a monumental moment in an old friend's life. It was a testimony to the redemptive grace of Jesus.
I have a friend from college who I used to travel and sing with all the time. We were in worship teams, college trios and quartets, and then eventually sang professionally in a trio for awhile. College opened up a whole new musical world for us; the world of Southern Gospel music. My parents were never into it much, and my friend, Scott, was trained in classical music and piano. But going to small southern Ohio Bible college meant learning the southern Ohio musical language. I have to admit that while I have never been a huge fan of Southern Gospel, I really enjoyed singing it. We were by no means "country" in style, but did have a lot of fun and met a lot of great people, including other professional gospel groups. We even spent a weekend at the National Quartet Convention one year.
Anyway, I digress...
My friend, Scott, and I have had some rough times in our lives since then. Both of us at times have really strayed from God's purpose for our lives. Our friendship suffered quite a bit as well. Recently, however, the Lord put him back in my path, and we discovered that we have both been on a pretty amazing journey, as God has led us back around to what we were created to be: completely His. It has been great catching up on old times and new chapters, and reliving the hysterical moments we have shared over the years. Scott emailed me about a week ago and told me to call him, and to be sitting down when I did, because he had something to tell me. When I called, he informed me that he had auditioned for a gospel quartet and had been asked to join them on the road! It was so overwhelming to see how God was blessing! Even after all the years he thought he had wasted, God was restoring his dreams and leading Him back into the ministry he loved. I could totally relate to that!
So this morning, I was able to go to a concert in a church local to my parents and hear Scott sing with his new buddies, The Suwannee River Boys. The five of them had fun on the platform and enjoyed each other like they had known one another for years. It was surreal almost to see my friend, someone I had been separated from for several years, standing on the platform with a group of professionals, living a dream he has had in his heart since I had known him. It was so moving.
So, now you're wondering, what in the world does her TITLE mean? How does that relate at all with what she is sharing? Well, I'll tell you. It's 2-fold. First, it's a sound byte from David Crowder's new album; an old spiritual or southern gospel song he samples at the beginning of the first song. (It's also the title of his new book!) It sounds funny, but it's pretty profound. It is the profound that truly relates to what I am sharing.
Scott and I spent a lot of time in our lives pursuing our own dreams in our own power, doing things our own way. We pursued ministry, so it all sounded like a great plan. But in our feeble hands, it crumbled. We want the bright lights and the big time ("heaven") but we weren't willing to "die" to ourselves and do it God's way. Everybody wants God's blessing, His best for our lives. But we fail to see that if we are to truly achieve what is BEST we have to give up our idea of what that BEST is. And it's not that the desires of our heart are always wrong, or that God ignores what we want in order to have His way. He gives us our desires and dreams. But we can only see a part of the picture, a tiny spec of the grand scheme of things. His dreams for us are actually so much bigger than we could ever imagine. The key is placing Him BEFORE the dream on the priority list. It's only then that we can fulfill His purpose and truly succeed. Our dreams are safer in God's hands than in our own. Sounds like a simple concept, but it's so tough to learn!
I had to praise God when I watched Scott get on that big customized bus this afternoon and head out to the next service on the schedule for tonight. It was good for my soul to see another miracle orchestrated in the life of one of His children.
Thank you, Abba.
I have a friend from college who I used to travel and sing with all the time. We were in worship teams, college trios and quartets, and then eventually sang professionally in a trio for awhile. College opened up a whole new musical world for us; the world of Southern Gospel music. My parents were never into it much, and my friend, Scott, was trained in classical music and piano. But going to small southern Ohio Bible college meant learning the southern Ohio musical language. I have to admit that while I have never been a huge fan of Southern Gospel, I really enjoyed singing it. We were by no means "country" in style, but did have a lot of fun and met a lot of great people, including other professional gospel groups. We even spent a weekend at the National Quartet Convention one year.
Anyway, I digress...
My friend, Scott, and I have had some rough times in our lives since then. Both of us at times have really strayed from God's purpose for our lives. Our friendship suffered quite a bit as well. Recently, however, the Lord put him back in my path, and we discovered that we have both been on a pretty amazing journey, as God has led us back around to what we were created to be: completely His. It has been great catching up on old times and new chapters, and reliving the hysterical moments we have shared over the years. Scott emailed me about a week ago and told me to call him, and to be sitting down when I did, because he had something to tell me. When I called, he informed me that he had auditioned for a gospel quartet and had been asked to join them on the road! It was so overwhelming to see how God was blessing! Even after all the years he thought he had wasted, God was restoring his dreams and leading Him back into the ministry he loved. I could totally relate to that!
So this morning, I was able to go to a concert in a church local to my parents and hear Scott sing with his new buddies, The Suwannee River Boys. The five of them had fun on the platform and enjoyed each other like they had known one another for years. It was surreal almost to see my friend, someone I had been separated from for several years, standing on the platform with a group of professionals, living a dream he has had in his heart since I had known him. It was so moving.
So, now you're wondering, what in the world does her TITLE mean? How does that relate at all with what she is sharing? Well, I'll tell you. It's 2-fold. First, it's a sound byte from David Crowder's new album; an old spiritual or southern gospel song he samples at the beginning of the first song. (It's also the title of his new book!) It sounds funny, but it's pretty profound. It is the profound that truly relates to what I am sharing.
Scott and I spent a lot of time in our lives pursuing our own dreams in our own power, doing things our own way. We pursued ministry, so it all sounded like a great plan. But in our feeble hands, it crumbled. We want the bright lights and the big time ("heaven") but we weren't willing to "die" to ourselves and do it God's way. Everybody wants God's blessing, His best for our lives. But we fail to see that if we are to truly achieve what is BEST we have to give up our idea of what that BEST is. And it's not that the desires of our heart are always wrong, or that God ignores what we want in order to have His way. He gives us our desires and dreams. But we can only see a part of the picture, a tiny spec of the grand scheme of things. His dreams for us are actually so much bigger than we could ever imagine. The key is placing Him BEFORE the dream on the priority list. It's only then that we can fulfill His purpose and truly succeed. Our dreams are safer in God's hands than in our own. Sounds like a simple concept, but it's so tough to learn!
I had to praise God when I watched Scott get on that big customized bus this afternoon and head out to the next service on the schedule for tonight. It was good for my soul to see another miracle orchestrated in the life of one of His children.
Thank you, Abba.
Saturday, September 02, 2006
stress
It's so long since I have written, yet I am having a problem getting started. It seems like the stress of my job has sucked all the creative energy right out of me on most days. It's hard, really, to put into words just how stressful my job really is, and I don't want it to sound like I am complaining. It's strange because, though it is overwhelming, I do enjoy what I am doing, where I am, and whom I am doing it with. I like my boss and my co-workers, I like the company, and most of the customers I work with on a daily basis are great. I am grateful for my job, and truly feel God led me to it. But I wasn't really prepared for how consuming it was going to become.
It was a tough routine to learn, and even at almost 6 months, I definitely don't feel I have mastered it. It took 2 months of training before I was even set free to answer the phones, and still, at least once everyday, I am faced with something totally new. I have had to learn new computer programs, phone scripts, chemical names, codes and containers. I talk with dozens of our company buyers, sales representatives, and warehouse workers a day. Every order I take on the phone is a project in which I must make sure the chemical is correct, on time, priced appropriately, approved by the right people...some chemicals are Drug Enforcement Agency regulated and bound to procedures and paperwork. But at the crux of all the flurry of details and logistics is that if it's done improperly, I could (or we could) put a company out of production for a day, week, whatever and cost them a bundle. This is not good for us or them. So to sum it all up, I am in frenzied/adrenaline rush/edge of my seat mode for an entire 9 hours everyday. Even my breaks and lunch hour are consumed with thoughts of what needs to be done and who needs to be contacted and what deadlines have to met.
Being in this state of mind everyday, five days a week has really taken its toll on me physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. The past couple of weeks have been tough for me because I have felt overwhelmed and on the edge, like I couldn't possibley take anymore. I know I serve a God who protects and preserves, and He knows my limits. But the way I have been feeling lately has been scary. My natural reaction to stress is sleep, and I have been going to bed at night by 9:00, often earlier, and taking naps on the weekends. I just took a four hour nap today after a full nights sleep last night! It's amazing what affect the state of the mind can have on the physical body. And it's amazing how being exhausted physcially can keep me from doing the one thing I know can help feel better: spend time with Jesus.
This whole time I have been struggling I have been asking people to pray for me, yet I have not been praying for myself. I haven't been reading about Him, I haven't been singing to Him. I am too tired to go to small group; too depressed to reach out to the community of believers He has given me. It's like the worse it gets the more I withdraw and I don't understand it. I feel like no one will understand what I am going through, so I don't give anyone a chance. I feel like I should be strong enought to handle it on my own, so I don't want to mention it. And I know that this is not what God intended. This is not what Community is all about. It's deception that the enemy has been whipering in my ear, and in my weakened state I have given into it.
A friend of mine shared some Psalms with me today in an email and one of them inparticular struck me. I've read it before, but as Scripture often does, it spoke directly to my current situation.
Psalm 91:1-2
"He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, He is my refuge and my fortress: my God; in Him will I trust."
And God says to me in vs 14-15
"Because he hath set his love upon Me, therefore will I deliver him, I will set him on high; because he hath known my name. He shall call upon Me and I will answer him. I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honour him."
I see something very clearly here. First of all, my responsibility is to take refuge in Him; trust Him and love Him. His responsibility looks different. He is going to protect me, raise me up above the circumstances, HE WILL DELIVER ME. My responsibility is of the heart; to seek intimacy. His responsibilty is one of action; to provide deliverance.
And yet I tell myself I need to "handle" my own issues. I need to be strong; don't complain or grieve or show weakness or disappointment.
Actually, I need to run immediately and cower in the shadow of His wing. I need to wave the white flag and retreat. In doing so, I am doing the bravest thing imaginable.
Relinquishing control.
It was a tough routine to learn, and even at almost 6 months, I definitely don't feel I have mastered it. It took 2 months of training before I was even set free to answer the phones, and still, at least once everyday, I am faced with something totally new. I have had to learn new computer programs, phone scripts, chemical names, codes and containers. I talk with dozens of our company buyers, sales representatives, and warehouse workers a day. Every order I take on the phone is a project in which I must make sure the chemical is correct, on time, priced appropriately, approved by the right people...some chemicals are Drug Enforcement Agency regulated and bound to procedures and paperwork. But at the crux of all the flurry of details and logistics is that if it's done improperly, I could (or we could) put a company out of production for a day, week, whatever and cost them a bundle. This is not good for us or them. So to sum it all up, I am in frenzied/adrenaline rush/edge of my seat mode for an entire 9 hours everyday. Even my breaks and lunch hour are consumed with thoughts of what needs to be done and who needs to be contacted and what deadlines have to met.
Being in this state of mind everyday, five days a week has really taken its toll on me physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. The past couple of weeks have been tough for me because I have felt overwhelmed and on the edge, like I couldn't possibley take anymore. I know I serve a God who protects and preserves, and He knows my limits. But the way I have been feeling lately has been scary. My natural reaction to stress is sleep, and I have been going to bed at night by 9:00, often earlier, and taking naps on the weekends. I just took a four hour nap today after a full nights sleep last night! It's amazing what affect the state of the mind can have on the physical body. And it's amazing how being exhausted physcially can keep me from doing the one thing I know can help feel better: spend time with Jesus.
This whole time I have been struggling I have been asking people to pray for me, yet I have not been praying for myself. I haven't been reading about Him, I haven't been singing to Him. I am too tired to go to small group; too depressed to reach out to the community of believers He has given me. It's like the worse it gets the more I withdraw and I don't understand it. I feel like no one will understand what I am going through, so I don't give anyone a chance. I feel like I should be strong enought to handle it on my own, so I don't want to mention it. And I know that this is not what God intended. This is not what Community is all about. It's deception that the enemy has been whipering in my ear, and in my weakened state I have given into it.
A friend of mine shared some Psalms with me today in an email and one of them inparticular struck me. I've read it before, but as Scripture often does, it spoke directly to my current situation.
Psalm 91:1-2
"He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, He is my refuge and my fortress: my God; in Him will I trust."
And God says to me in vs 14-15
"Because he hath set his love upon Me, therefore will I deliver him, I will set him on high; because he hath known my name. He shall call upon Me and I will answer him. I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honour him."
I see something very clearly here. First of all, my responsibility is to take refuge in Him; trust Him and love Him. His responsibility looks different. He is going to protect me, raise me up above the circumstances, HE WILL DELIVER ME. My responsibility is of the heart; to seek intimacy. His responsibilty is one of action; to provide deliverance.
And yet I tell myself I need to "handle" my own issues. I need to be strong; don't complain or grieve or show weakness or disappointment.
Actually, I need to run immediately and cower in the shadow of His wing. I need to wave the white flag and retreat. In doing so, I am doing the bravest thing imaginable.
Relinquishing control.
Saturday, August 12, 2006
camp
This weekend holds a very important event; a reunion for camp workers who worked at Mt of Praise camp with Cheryl B. and Janette P. Over the course of about 16 years these two amazing women ran the children's ministry at this 10 day family camp. And if that's not a big enough job, they decided to have a group of 25-30 teenagers and young adults work with them. At times it was like babysitting for two different, and yet very similar, groups of kids. But to the two of them, it was all ministry. They were (and continue to be) vessels through which God changed the hearts and lives of children and young people alike. Not only were we taught how to minister to the children, we were also ministered to; and loved unconditionally by Cheryl and Janette. We were all "their kids" and they smacked us around when we needed it, and fought for our honor when we needed it. Friendships were built during those hot August days that would last a lifetime, and even this weekend after all these years, people are coming from miles around and across state lines to reminisce about the old days and fellowship together.
Camp was one of the most influential tools God used in my life to shape me into who I am today. These women were a part of that. I learned so much about Kingdom work, about myself, about the gifts God has given me...and the friendships! I am in awe of the people God placed in my life, and how connected my heart is to them. The laughter and the tears and the hard work built a bond between us, and the memories are sweet. Even now as our daily lives draw us apart, sharing one story from that time in our lives can bridge the gap and make it seem like we are still in that basement, surrounded by music and decorations, kids ministering to kids...it's the greatest feeling.
I am looking forward to seeing everyone this weekend. Hopefully it will become an annual tradition and grow as we connect with more and more faces and names from the past. I feel blessed to have had such a life altering experience.
Camp was one of the most influential tools God used in my life to shape me into who I am today. These women were a part of that. I learned so much about Kingdom work, about myself, about the gifts God has given me...and the friendships! I am in awe of the people God placed in my life, and how connected my heart is to them. The laughter and the tears and the hard work built a bond between us, and the memories are sweet. Even now as our daily lives draw us apart, sharing one story from that time in our lives can bridge the gap and make it seem like we are still in that basement, surrounded by music and decorations, kids ministering to kids...it's the greatest feeling.
I am looking forward to seeing everyone this weekend. Hopefully it will become an annual tradition and grow as we connect with more and more faces and names from the past. I feel blessed to have had such a life altering experience.
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